literature

Saving Graces - Septiplier, Part Three

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“Take your time. We have all morning.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes. Mark started counting the stars. He got to 56 before Jack spoke again. Mark hadn't realized he had started to cry again.

“Wiishu broke up with me.” He said. His voice seemed small, especially for the Irishman. Mark inhaled.

“Really? After all this time?”

Jack nodded. He breathed in shakily.

“We had talked just a few days before I left. At the time, she didn’t know I was going. She told me that things were getting a bit rocky, and she wasn’t exactly sure if it was going to keep working. We decided to give it one more shot.” he breathed deeply. “Then I left. And...the night I got here, she sent me this super long voicemail. And she was really calm and apologetic, but…”

Mark put his arm around Jack as he inhaled sharply and sniffled.

“I didn't - didn't fulfill, I guess. I - I put too much into my channel and not enough into our relationship.” He paused to take a long, deep breath in. His voice turned, a bit calmer now.

“She didn't want to call while I was away. She didn't want to have to call at all. But she felt like she had lost the meaning in our relationship, and didn't want to lead me on.” He leaned into Mark’s hug. “She said she was sorry. I'm sorry, too.”

Silence.

“If that's truly what she felt, then I'm glad that she told you that. It would have hurt more for you to slowly fall out of love than to rip the bandaid off now. I'm so sorry, I am so so sorry that this is how it had to happen. But in the long run? You'll be happier. Believe me, please. I may not have been in many relationships, but the ones I have been in have ended… harshly.”

“I'm being a big baby, I'm sorry -” Jack started to get up, but Mark shushed him and pulled him back down.

“You're not being dumb. If you say that again, I will throw you into the pool.”

There was a dejected chuckle.

“I can't believe that you're letting me do this.”

“Do what?” Mark asked, confused. Jack pulled himself from under Mark’s arm.

“This. Give you my issues. This isn't the point of this trip. I didn't fly 8,000 fucking kilometers to unload my crap.” He angrily ran a hand through his hair. “I came here for you.”

Mark just smiled. “Has anything else been bothering you, Sean? It's so much nicer to talk in person. Last time, Skype didn't do it justice.”

Jack groaned and fell back, hands over his eyes. “Why do you do this to me. Why are you so nice after everything?”

“Because I don't want anyone to be as sad as I was. I don't want anyone to have to experience it like I did. Alone.”

Jack looked at him through his fingers.

“Sean McLoughlin, I swear to God if you apologize to me right now-”

“I'm sorry.”

Mark threw his hands up in the air.

“You are impossible.”

“I know.” Jack sighed.

“Can I ask you something, Sean?”

Jack’s ears burned with his real name. He noticed that that had been all he had heard since Mark had come out here with him. He liked the ring of his name, but only when certain people said it. He liked when Mark said it - he also liked when Wiishu said it. In fact, that was all she would say - he had to forcibly pull his head back into reality.

“Of course. Ask away.”

Mark was staring at the sky again. “Do you think that there's an afterlife?”

Jack stared at Mark, his profile against the navy sky.

“I think there’s something. What variation of the afterlife it is, I don't know, but something.”

Mark nodded. And he smiled.

“I like the prospect of stars, personally.” Mark said. And he turned and met Jack’s eyes. “Or some celestial body. Just sitting there in the sky, surrounded by others just like ‘em. And they're always there - we just don't necessarily see them until the darkness comes.”

And they both just looked at each other.

“And I don’t think you have to have died to become a star. I think we’re all stars - we’re all up in the sky.” Mark continued. He looked back up and pointed. Jack tried to follow his finger.

“Like that one. See it? It’s small, but bright and surrounded by a bunch of other stars. That one’s you.”

Mark pointed in a different direction, this time more towards the horizon. “And that one? It’s dim right now because it’s so far from us. But you and I know that once the earth turns around a bit, we’ll be able to see it. That one is me. I’ll get brighter. It’ll just take time.”

Jack just sat in silence, watching as Mark named off countless people as stars in the sky.

“That one is Wiishu. See how she’s right above us? She loves you, Sean, and she won’t stop loving you. But not like how you knew it. See how bright that star is? It’s going to find another star just as bright.” and he pointed back at the original star, the one that represented Jack. “Just like there’s plenty of stars around you. You’re going to heal.”

It was quiet for a moment. Then Mark chuckled softly.

“And that one?”

Mark pointed to a little line of stars that Jack thought was Orion’s belt. There was one that was brighter than any other star he could see, and it twinkled and sparkled against its dark backdrop.

“That one is Daniel.”

Mark was smiling. But tears were streaking down his face.

Jack just held him close.

They sat on the little step in the little backyard looking up at the big sky until Mark fell asleep. Jack was close to sleeping as well, and before he knew it, they were tangled in an uncomfortable lump on the step fast asleep.

The sun took the stars away.

~
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sayhellotothis's avatar
The feels train is pulling in! Next stop, your tear ducts!